i suddenly feel very cut off from the world. like im watching from the other side of the glass. and im just sitting there watching and i want to go in but then again i dont, and im not sure, im never sure.

and the only thing i know is that i really don't want study, i cant anymore but i must but i don't want to and it makes me unhappy. i hate education, the idea of learning to get grades is stupid, i want to learn but not with this pressure. i honestly dont give a shit if i retain because at least i can gain new experiences if i go to a poly or drop out and work or something it doesnt matter.

im just very tired all the time. i wanna move out of my house, theres something repressive about it, i just feel miserable when im here and i try to do stuff but i just get distracted and then i end up not accomplishing anything and then feel like a failure.

i seriously want to scream, i want to run away from responsibility i want to actually do something that i know will help people or the world in some way. i don't want to be a waste of time i need to stop wasting my time. im so tired.

and i know that i'll feel better once i ignore all this shit but the shit is always gonna be there but whatever.