i would just like to post this, so i can look back on it one day and either regret, miss or reminisce.

It's a minute to 10. 21 november. almost 2 months now. you'll be here to pick me up soon? and even though it'll just be a long car ride i can't wait to see you. i really do like you. it's horrible that i needed someone to help me pick up all the pieces of my life but God gave me you haha. and you don't do it by putting it all back together. you do it by helping me pick them up, handing them to me and guiding me. you make me more than i am. and i make mistakes so often but you're teaching me and sometimes it sucks to not be perfect. but whatever because you're still there. and i fear the day when either one of us gets sick of each other and this all ends and if this does happen then i hope we stay friends!

and if it doesn't end, i wouldn't mind it at all.

:)

Noooooooo


I wish i were selfish

Enough

To keep you awake

So we could talk all night

And i could be brave

To ask you if

You felt the same

Or do i just read too much into it.

if you were to change the person you are, you'd still be yourself.



 my theory is that the definition of "who we are" is not as clear-cut as the stereotypes try to suggest. the people we are/become is a combination of first basic human instincts, the survival instinct, and then of basic moral instincts, the knowledge and sensitivity and compassion, and then our own observation of the world followed by the decision we make of where we want to stand in it. then there's also family and peer influence, and in recent times, the strong pull of society's influence through the media especially.

 i can imagine that the we are all certain types of people not because we are genuinely as such, but because we choose to latch to that "type", whether consciously or not. our minds seem to be unable to compromise, to not be something definitive, so we always find an identity and stick to it for the sense of security. that sense of security? the ability to say that "yes this is what i would do". without an identity we can't make decisions because every choice seems appealing.


 and yet, we aren't that stereotype, since after all it's forced, influenced, pushed, pulled until it becomes a messsssssssssssss.





 on another note. i wonder how my writing will be after 1209193 years of not blogging/ranting. I should start using appropriate capitalisation and punctuation. Ought to be catching up on Financial Management but SO MANY DISTRACTIONS SO MANY. Distracting myself from my distraction by using blogging to distract myself from them. hahahahha.




 BYE.

19 years on this earth and I can't understand how adults can pick up a newspaper daily before they head off for work, to carry out the routine that they know so well. I've never liked routine. I will acknowledge it as safe and comforting, but I'm easily bored and yearn for the unpredictable. Pleasant and unpredictable is a wonderful combination (I am an idealistic wuss). So the newspaper thing, yeah, I don't get it. I'm apathetic, and immature; closeminded, stubborn, etc.. Call it what you want, but from this uncaring perspective, I consider all things I've read during this short stint on earth and can conclude that history never fails to repeat itself. Society is stubborn, it sticks to routine, we don't really learn from the past. We just like to talk about it. After all these years, picking up the paper and reading it seems futile and unnecessary. The headlines start to look the same: "economy in crisis", "politician corrupt", "new research shows this", "criminal arrested and punished". Perhaps so much more that I've ignorantly missed out. Yes, reading current affairs keeps you updated, linked to the world, and keeps your language intact. But why don't we learn from mistakes? That's what frustrates me, that the world does not churn out different problems, it gives us the same ones, reminding us that we are not limitless and not as genius enough so solve anything. Or maybe we are just too afriad to break out of routine. Want the latest news stories? Go grab yesterday's paper.

BODYSLIDE BY TWO.

I LOVE DEADPOOL I LOVE CABLE. I LOVE DEADPOOL AND CABLE TOGETHER. AND HOW THEY CAN'T SEEM TO EVER BE APART HAHA. And I love Dom. And her relationship with Cable. And her powers. And her appearance. And if I had to choose which comic book character I would want to be, I would say Domino. And it would be awesome. Haha. Just needed to rant about this.

Terms and conditions are funny. They put it there and it's really up to you to find it and squint really hard and read.

I am sitting in the car's backseat alone because of a schedule mistake and laziness to get out. So i sit here and wait and complain to myself about how difficult it is to blog via iphone, how annoying it is that I am blogging, how stupid I feel for not bringing my wallet and how I wish I had a book with me right now. A comic book please.

My favorite comic book superhero? Green Arrow.

The JLA characters pretty much make me a DC fangirl, I think it's because of all the cartoons growing up, I do remember watching Iron Man when I was a kid but the superman/batman bromance is prettt unforgettable, it was kind of always there.

I like oliver queen. And its strange because I don't think I would have liked him when I was younger. But somehow my taste has changed: I like Green Arrow cause he's rich, wise-cracking, smart mouthed, reckless, bad guy with the good heart, romantic, heroic and a fine fine archer. And he and black canary are just that typw of "awwwww shucks" couple.

And it's kind of strange because his appearance is arguably not as appealing as Batman and yea that yellow facial hair makes him seem older which makes me feel old for making him my favorite.And I am old. Sort of. And then I realise that I am writing a blog post about my favorite DC superhero and then I feel less old.

I need sleep.

It seems odd that when in a group, one's perspective is switched to "me against the world", but when faced with solidarity it becomes "the world against me". As I sit in an unhealthy fast food chain that sells food that seems cheap but really isn't, healthy but really isn't, I realise my self consciousness is multplied tenfold, and I suddenly have the need to prove to everyone (in actual fact, no one) that I'm smart (I hold a book open, ironically under my phone), am not lacking in friends (hence am typing away on a phone in an obvious sign of communication), and when I consider it, I conclude that we humans, or at least, me human, are/is incredibly self concious, self obsessed and we just care way too much of what others think about us. The sheer number of times I use the word 'I' (and am forced to capitalise it to save my language abilities) is making my just eaten unhealthy meal rise in my throat. It makes me sick that I'm actually writing a post right now, and it sounds so briliiantly condescending and awful and I wonder if I really should post it.

BUT I SHALL! Muahaha. because a year from now, I would like to reread this and try to gauge how much more/less of an asshole douchebag I have grown into