Terms and conditions are funny. They put it there and it's really up to you to find it and squint really hard and read.

I am sitting in the car's backseat alone because of a schedule mistake and laziness to get out. So i sit here and wait and complain to myself about how difficult it is to blog via iphone, how annoying it is that I am blogging, how stupid I feel for not bringing my wallet and how I wish I had a book with me right now. A comic book please.

My favorite comic book superhero? Green Arrow.

The JLA characters pretty much make me a DC fangirl, I think it's because of all the cartoons growing up, I do remember watching Iron Man when I was a kid but the superman/batman bromance is prettt unforgettable, it was kind of always there.

I like oliver queen. And its strange because I don't think I would have liked him when I was younger. But somehow my taste has changed: I like Green Arrow cause he's rich, wise-cracking, smart mouthed, reckless, bad guy with the good heart, romantic, heroic and a fine fine archer. And he and black canary are just that typw of "awwwww shucks" couple.

And it's kind of strange because his appearance is arguably not as appealing as Batman and yea that yellow facial hair makes him seem older which makes me feel old for making him my favorite.And I am old. Sort of. And then I realise that I am writing a blog post about my favorite DC superhero and then I feel less old.

I need sleep.

It seems odd that when in a group, one's perspective is switched to "me against the world", but when faced with solidarity it becomes "the world against me". As I sit in an unhealthy fast food chain that sells food that seems cheap but really isn't, healthy but really isn't, I realise my self consciousness is multplied tenfold, and I suddenly have the need to prove to everyone (in actual fact, no one) that I'm smart (I hold a book open, ironically under my phone), am not lacking in friends (hence am typing away on a phone in an obvious sign of communication), and when I consider it, I conclude that we humans, or at least, me human, are/is incredibly self concious, self obsessed and we just care way too much of what others think about us. The sheer number of times I use the word 'I' (and am forced to capitalise it to save my language abilities) is making my just eaten unhealthy meal rise in my throat. It makes me sick that I'm actually writing a post right now, and it sounds so briliiantly condescending and awful and I wonder if I really should post it.

BUT I SHALL! Muahaha. because a year from now, I would like to reread this and try to gauge how much more/less of an asshole douchebag I have grown into

merry christmas!

happy boxing day haha. got a guitar for christmas:) an accoustic one. it is pretty and the sound is just really good my heart cries when i hear it i swear no joke the sound is that awesome asdfghjklajdlajs. haha i love my mum and dad :)

my bro got some cool game thing that you attach to ur xbox n then voila u play without a controller but using ur body movements. i... did not know technology like this was already being sold commercially so it kinda blew my mind HAHA i feel outdated.

anyway christmas over! new year coming, im excited! last year at jc it will be a bittersweet one i hope. i love you all!

off to another long period of interweb abstainence cos i can

Hello sleepless nights and plastic walls
injured souls and curtain calls
u whispered things that I could hear
I chose the path to where it'll lead

playing God never goes right
the sun is dead during the night
I had my sights set on content
now I'm the bad guy

If we lived In absolutes
I wanna live in absolutes
I wanna live in black n white
and u could choose your side

just this morning I asked You
why couldn't this be alittle more simple
I thot I had it figured out
but u make sure I don't build that tower

it's past the time i should sleep
I haven't time to feel the need
I haven't time
I have no time

A christmas post cos it's chritstmas in a few days

Was gonna pos a letter to God but posting it on a public space felt like inwas bragging that I was better than everyone.

Anyway MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope everyone has a good one :) I live Christmas cos it reminds us that we aren't alone, that God sent his only Son down here to earth just to suffer and die cos WE COULD BE SAVED. It's just amazing.

I wonder if anyone still reads my blog HAHA HI THR BORED PERSON GET OFF THE INTERNET N GO DO SMTH WORTHWHILE LA. anyway just wanna say thanks for reading my blog. N if consider me a friend, thanks for being my friend. I treasure everyone that bothers to bother about me because it matters to me. I feel forunate cos if u so THANK YOU GOD BLESS I LOVE YOU MERRY CHRISTMAS :) I hope that I can be capable of making you happy I will try my best :D

Resolutions for the new year? Same as always. Become a better person, be there for friends, family, be a better Catholic, study hard and do well, get rid of arrogance and be happy and make others happy.

so



there's a thousand reasons for you to stay. even if you lacked the simplest things or the most complicated. even if you watched the television teach you how to love and you realise that you don't have it, and you feel empty and stupid, there's still a reason to live.



i've learnt that from You. that what we see isn't what we should live by. the world is tricked into thinking that everyone's life must be lived out that certain way. rich beautiful in love perfect. it's what we dream of, that ideal dream that ideal life but it just makes us feel like we fall short all the time.



i don't know where to start. that's the problem. i don't do starts, i do intermediates haha. i work off other people. i can't start of a conversation and immediately give a spectacular impression. people think im stuck up or foolish or unfeeling or weird. it's like some messed up role i play. give me a script, i'll play from a role. but life doesn't write one for you, so i end up being a mix of personalities it's kind of messed up. i don't have an identity. who i am is not being a single original idea, i steal from the people around me and twist it to fit myself. perhaps its laziness? haha probably.



from now on, im going to use this blog to write letters to God. was planning to do it on a notebook but I HATE MY HANDWRITING HAHA. the thought of writing in my handwriting makes me cringe hoho. ok im hungry and tired. hope i don't fall sick.

cant wait for monday to be over.

i wish the guys that i ahem like/admire/have a crush on/whatever you may call it, have blogs. then at times like this when im tired and its late but i dont want to go to sleep cos i feel like i should be feeling something that i dont so i should stay up til i find that feeling. if they/he had blog(s) i would go read it and i'd feel much better. cos i know i wont feel anything but happiness just to be able to know what he's thinking. its like talking to that person without talking to that person CREEPY AINT IT HAHA. but its like u're getting to know that person and you grow closer but i guess it'll be a one sided thing. unless you bring up the topic when that person is awake/available and continue with it then yea it'll be really meaningful (:

i do love reading friends' blogs, i usually do when im feeling like this butbut it's just not the same? haha it is kinda, just not really.

anyway i think im ready to sleep, i should, my dad just came in to remind me to sleep. i have school tomorrow.

i wrote a long long post about quitting the internet cos it sucks AND THEN I CLICKED POST N THE POST DISAPPEARED HAHAAHAHHAHAHA MY THEORY PROVED

anyway basically, planning to stop using internet and devote more time to more meaingful stuff. like God and music and writing and reading and learning and studying and being there for people

HAHA BYE

i wish i was that type of girl that prances around and is always happy and bright, and when she meets with others, she makes them happy, she brightens up their day with a smile. and shes so lovely and caring and sensitive and perfect and she makes u feel like you're that special someone to her and you can't help but feel good even on bad days.

but im not, i just make mistakes over and over and i don't know how to handle situations and i dont know what will make you happy. i just be myself and im honest and i will tell you "i'm right here and i care" but i know its not enough because i don't really matter enough.

and its okay, im okay with it. my life doesnt suck, im actually happy, or at least i can be. but because you aren't, because everyone else doesnt seem to see how awesome life is even when it doesnt seem that way it feels like I FAILED like im alive but i don't serve a single purpose because i cant do this one little job, i cant cheer you up. i cant make you feel good.

i should lie more often, i should be a little sweeter, alittle kinder, alittle less weird (not possible), alittle more understanding, less lazy too.

:)

AND I NEED TO GET BACK ON THAT DIET THAT I HATH FORSAKEN AFTER ONE DAY HAHAHHA

does it make sense if i said my life sucks because other people are miserable? and i cant make them happy, it doesnt work, no ones happy. not really.

theres so many things wrong with me and i just need that one person to help set it right.

im so tired everyday i wanna just drop everything and cry myself to sleep

when will my turn come
to talk about stuff
that you tell me about

your wishes your dreams
they're all coming through
or at least on the way to being as such

and one day it'll be my turn
to say
i don't know what to do
but i'm so happy i could scream

but when would that day be
i'll wait for a dream

hello im tired all over again
its like a cycle that won't ever end
would you let me rest my head on you
would you let me rest

what if i said i was letting go
do we never ever wanna grow old
i don't want to, we don't have to
if you'd live inside a fantasy
we'd suffer like the children did
peter pan syndrome and your down with it

are you up for it?
one more try?
or should we give up now while the ground is dry
before the rain falls
i want rain falls
cos they chill your bones
soak your skin
it chills your bones
it means you live.

i'd made the move to disappoint
offer firsts give lasts so whats the point
of knowing you when you won't smile
because of me, no you won't smile

sex is everything and we both know it
the world is obsessed before they show it
i feel artistic so let me be
i feel like waves are crashing over me
and im swimming out to sea
on a drafted plank
from a sunken ship
where we'll meet

and where the moon will shine
all night
and we will let go let go let go of everything
just let go

and lose our way again
the snow falls falls into rain
i let her hand slide
she felt you underneath her skin
i let her hands
don't be mistaken
my jealousy's not yet taken a vacation
on the south west corner of the worldwide world
have you seen they said it was a miracle
but i don't believe it

and where the moon will shine
all night
and they will dance to the songs, they will dance
and let go

i want the JYJ album so bad right now, i dont think i've ever wanted a pop/r&b album so badly, and its not even DBSK doing a JAP/KOREAN album its just three of them doing an ENGLISH/ENGRISH

but so far what ive heard isnt too bad

thanks kanye hahahha.

AHHHHHHHHHHH NEED TO GET IT

AYYYYYYY GIRL


YEA YEA YEA DBSK IN ENGLISH YES YES YES SHIT HORRID LYRICS SONG IS QUITE OK BUT OMG DBSK

DBSK

i think i might be addicted to kpop

taking a break from math


i wanna style my hair, like dye it different colours

my favorite preference would of course be the fantasy white/platinum blonde (i actually asked my mum if i could do it, she said NO BLEACHING RUINS UR HAIR and got support from my hairdresser so oh well nvm)

like kyuhyun

or the ethereal jaejoong

or Haruma Miura (don't know who he is but omg he looks gorgeous blonde *.*

or like shock with red/orange and look like a carrot

as seen on magnae chansung (not very nice) and KEY DURING JULIETTE DAYS HAHAHA

but basic brown is okay. but i dunno, its so common? i just put this picture cos changmin is really really good looking. his hair is cool too

and obligatory jonghyun pic in hair post because his orange-white hair was really errr unique and shit OK ITS REALLY REALLY NICE i kinda got used to it after awhile, its my fav hairstyle on him

what am i saying, everything is my fav hairstyle on him he is amazing



anyway, i'll prob see what colour i can come up with for my hair after promos or smth

ok back to math

been trying to keep away from people again, just cos im in no mood to please :/ supposed to be studying BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN STUDYING HOHOHOHOHO

been spending my day just doing kpop stuff. alot of kpop stuff.
alot of ukiss
and shinee
ohshit im in love with shinee

kpop is actually bad in the sense its totally corny n meaningless, as far as most popular songs go. but the artistes are just so easy to fall in love with cos u can see their idol fronts and their real sides which really love, and its kinda awesome how they get to live both lives

so i will say it now: i really really wanna be a kpop star. because u can earn money and wear cool clothes. mostly because u get live breathe music MUSIC like singing and dancing and composing and u can still keep ur true self. n u dont have sing ur own crap songs, u sing and dance other people's cool material and look cool and feel cool and its alot of work but ahhh so fun. but being in a girlgroup would be weird cos the girls might be fake bitches or smth hahaha.

can someone make remake the StreetFighter movie? please? like a good one with all the characters? FOR MY SAKE PLEASE. HAHA.i am gg to find the old streetfighter movie and watch it again someday ahhh nostalgia

dear kpop, thanks for cheering me up with ur lame jokes haha (:

ukissWHOOOOOOOOOOOO

ok bye

"But it may have frightened you, and you may not have noticed that I love you."

"But I do love you -surely in a better way than he does. Yes- really in a better way. I want you to have your own thoughts even when I hold you in my arms. Lucy, be quick-there's no time for us to talk now- come to me as you came in the spring, and afterwards I will be gentle and explain. I cared for you since that man died. I cannot live without you. "No good," I thought: "she is marrying someone else"; but I meet you again when all the world is glorious water and sun. As you came through the wood, I saw that nothing else mattered. I called. I wanted to live and have my chance of joy."

"It is being young."


- George Emerson, A Room With A View, Novel by E.M. Forster

WHY SO ROMANTICCCCCCCCCC :)