not exactly intellectual stuff to blog about but i saw a rat today for the first time in my life, like a real rat scurrying across a few metres from me. it was small and furry and just this furball running, i saw it for a few seconds but i thought it was pretty cool.

on another note, i have decided that i must date a musician (not instrumentalist, MUSICIAN) because he must be able to think beyond normal "boi thoughtzzz"

right nw stress is defined as waking up much later than expected, sick, disappointed, with a heap of crap homework/projects and i really wanna cry.

i love this video alot. i love how candid junsu is when he talks about the members and when he gets all shy. adorable boy is adorable. haha he just made my day (:

there are certain extents i am willing to go as a person and yet willing to hold back. for instance, i am a spoilt child, throwing tantrums, getting upset at the littlest thing out of plan but then at the same time i understand that happiness is a given choice, and every gift should be appreciated. and then when i fangirl, i understand that beauty=dbsk and junsu in everyway but i am grounded enough to know that a chance to know junsu as a real person is probably zilch. i do fall in love with the simplest things though, little actions that go unnoticed, genuine but flawed, sincerity is everything to me. when you do something but don't mean it, for the sake of being polite, i smile. when you do, when your heart is on your sleeve, i actually feel gratitude towards it, happiness becomes easily accessible and i live in a dream. so far, only few actually get me, and few i have actually gotten. yet, i am learning to change, to realise that it takes effort and sometimes effort is worth it. am i ready to conform to someone? go his way? perhaps that is the secret. but to me, it only works if he can see it, the sincerity of it and all that. and how many people could actually do that. i wonder if its true, that theres someone out there for everyone, a friend, a partner, someone someone. on another note, why is it that music attracts me so. i want it i want to submerge myself in it but i cant because losing myself again would be a big mistake. how do u be so many people if you are only one.

this is a stupid post about myself because i am a contemplative narcissist todayyyyyyyy

Hopefully one day i may get to attend a DBSK concert and i dont care if i end up at some spot really far away from the stage, when they play Rising Sun or Purple Line i swear i will just scream and sing my head off and dance and leap and unleash something that the world has never seen.


was looking through my old stuff, like songs i wrote in my notebook and stuff and can i just say i love growing up because when u look back its like another person doing it all. i personally find myself genius at writing this:

"You're like a pack of cigerattes, cause you smell when ignited."